If there were an Olympic event for Dodging the Question While Smiling Confidently, last week’s hearing would have earned Pam Bondi at least a silver medal — and possibly a participation ribbon shaped like a gavel.

Welcome to this week’s edition of FBJ Of The Week, where we celebrate the fine art of saying a lot… without actually saying anything.

The Hearing That Heard Nothing

Last week’s hearing was supposed to be about accountability, clarity, and those pesky little things called “direct answers.” Instead, viewers were treated to what felt like a live-action remake of The Matrix, except every bullet was a question and every dodge was a carefully rehearsed pivot.

Lawmakers asked. Bondi pivoted.
They pressed. She referenced “ongoing processes.”
They circled back. She introduced a new circle.

At one point, it appeared a yes-or-no question might actually receive a yes-or-no answer — but that dream was bravely crushed in under three seconds.

The Art of the Political Pirouette

There’s answering a question.
There’s deflecting a question.
And then there’s the Bondi Blend™ — a masterclass in transforming “Can you explain this?” into “Let me tell you about something adjacent to that.”

Observers noted:

• Frequent references to “process.”
• Strategic use of “I can’t comment on that.”
• A level of composure that suggested either supreme confidence… or an internal mantra of “Don’t blink.”

To be fair, surviving a hearing without accidentally blurting something career-ending is a skill. But when the transcript reads like a word salad buffet, it’s hard not to wonder whether the goal was clarity — or cardio.

The Internet Weighs In

Social media, never one to miss a spectacle, quickly dubbed the exchange everything from “Verbal Dodgeball” to “The Great Non-Answer Marathon.” Memes circulated at record speed. Somewhere, a whiteboard diagram probably still says “JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION.”

Final Verdict

Was it the worst hearing ever? No.
Was it a masterclass in controlled ambiguity? Absolutely.
Did we learn anything new? Debatable.

So for turning straightforward questions into interpretive dance, for elevating “I’ll get back to you” energy to a congressional stage, and for reminding us that sometimes the most impressive performance isn’t in a courtroom but in a hearing room…

Pam Bondi, you are our Fool of the Week. 🏆

Tune in next week, when someone else bravely attempts to redefine the English language under oath.